It doesn’t matter how many people you’re surrounded by. If you are never vulnerable, you will still feel alone.
This instinct to hide, to avoid vulnerability, is very human. The first human beings did it, and we continue to do it today.
But this instinct, however easy it is to fall into, will damage every relationship we have. If you let this instinct take over, the cost is great: deep intimacy and any meaningful relationship.
If you feel like you’re constantly seen by others but hardly known, you may be falling into the trap of our first parents. But in learning about their downfall, we can also learn the key to our healing.
What the Fall Reveals to Us
The biblical account of Adam and Eve starts with an ideal picture of the relationship between man and God. God is generous and kind, intentionally designing a suitable partner for Adam. Both Adam and Eve are well provided for, given a beautiful garden to eat from and animals to tend for.
And yet Eve falls for the deceit of the serpent that God is not truly generous, that He is withholding something good from her. So she and Adam disobey God, and hide from Him afterwards.
I’m sure they knew God would find them. He knows everything, after all. Yet, for some reason, it gave them a sense of refuge or relief.
But they don’t just run from God. They also hide from each other. The story notes that they put leaves on their bodies to cover their nakedness, for they were “ashamed” of it. Vulnerability intimidated them. They could no longer be exposed without feelings of fear or shame looming over them. Exposure now came at too great a cost.
The fruits of sin are immediately revealed: shame, hiddenness, and isolation. And these fruits remain deeply felt in the core of our being today.
The Truth About Exiled Parts
We first experience this as a child. Maybe your parents were overbearing, constantly criticizing you. A part may have emerged to make sense of this. It may carry wounds of rejection and fear, holding beliefs like “I’m unlovable” or “I’ll never be good enough.”
These are often referred to as “exiled parts.” Parts that are pushed aside and locked away to protect us. A deep fear develops that if these parts were seen, they would be rejected. And if they were rejected, it would confirm the very beliefs they carry.
So the system decides it’s safer not to risk exposure at all.
Before the Fall, human intimacy was created to be completely naked without shame. To be completely vulnerable and exposed without fear of rejection or unworthiness. But with brokenness in the world, we face continual roadblocks to this intimacy.
Some even experience an unfortunate perversion of this ideal: nakedness with maximum shame. They put on grand performances around others, grabbing their attention through bold humor, loud expressions, and fun storytelling. It seems like they’re exposing themselves to others. After all, they talk more, are louder and more visible than everybody else in the room.
But really, their behavior is a cover-up. If people only focus on their extravagant act, they never get to see the parts of themselves that feel little, scared, or ashamed. They may be more seen, but they are far less known.
And just like Adam and Eve, their attempt to hide is futile. Because ultimately, the parts you hide will not disappear because they’re buried. You cannot run from yourself.
And in hiding, there is no opportunity to disprove the beliefs those parts carry. If no one is allowed to see you fully, then no one can truly love you fully. Like Adam and Eve, the shame remains.
God’s Merciful Pursuit
But there is one final truth revealed in the Fall: the relentless love of God.
Despite their disobedience, God pursues Adam and Eve. He seeks them out and finds them. If, at their most unworthy, they were still loved and desired by God, then what grounds do we have to fear rejection?
When we allow every part of ourselves, including the exiled ones, to be seen and loved by God, we rediscover what it means to be naked without shame. Love becomes the antidote to shame.
This requires faith. It requires trust. Most of all, it requires courage. But it is the only true path to healing.
If we try to hide from God, we will always fail. His love waits patiently. And if we allow it in, the shame begins to lose its hold, and we become free to love and be loved in return.
This is the first step towards truly being known. When we learn that every part of us is worthy of love, we no longer operate from places of fear or shame. Instead, we can share ourselves with others freely and completely.
This will not be a one-time decision, but is a continual process of being transformed by Love. If this is a journey you feel ready to start, we would be honored to walk alongside you. Reach out to the mentorship team today and schedule a free consult.