When it comes to kids and fear, especially fear of the dark, shadows, or “monsters”, parents can feel overwhelmed with the number of options (some of them good, some not so much).
After all, a parent can (among other things):
- Try and reason with the child
- Install a nightlight
- Offer consequences for not going to sleep
- Stand guard at the bedside
- Invoke the power of God to bring peace
But what if none of those are the most powerful option? What if there was a better way? Well, in my conversation with him on the Being Human Podcast, Dr. Sean Tobin told the story of how he discovered and applied the “Big God, little devil” method.
The story went like this:
“Dad, I see demons in the shadows.”
Sean’s son was four years old. He called out at night:
“Dad, I’m scared.”
“Why are you scared?”
“I see spooky shadows.”
“Why are you scared of the shadows?”
“Because I see demons in them.”
Sean knew:
- This is a rite of passage for every child.
- There may actually be demons trying to provoke fear.
- No matter what, the biggest issue wasn’t if there were or weren’t demons involved. The biggest issue was what his son believed about them.
Asking the Real Question
Sean could have dismissed him, invalidated his fear, or gone to battle for him. But he paused. And got curious.
“So what? Why are you afraid of demons?”
His son answered:
“Because they’ll eat me.”
“Why are you afraid they’ll eat you?”
“Because then I’ll be dead.”
“Why are you afraid of dying?”
“Because then I think I’ll feel alone.”
And that’s when Sean realized, his son’s deepest fear wasn’t demons, it was being alone.
Inviting God Into the Fear
Right there in the dark, Sean prayed:
“God, what do You want him to know right now where he is afraid of these demons because they’re going to make him feel alone?”
His son closed his eyes. Sean knew something was happening, when children really pray, you can tell.
God’s Response to a Four-Year-Old
After a moment, his son opened his eyes and said:
“I saw myself in God’s hand. He was a giant hand and I was sitting in God’s hand. And then with God’s other hand, He was reaching down and squishing the devil like a bug.”
Sean laughed. His son said, “Thank you, Daddy.” And he rolled over and went to sleep. And from that night on, he never had a problem again.
Why This Works
- It Reveals God’s Sovereignty – In the words of St. Teresa of Avila: “The devil dare not approach or attack because he knows he’s going to experience a loss and that soul is going to experience a corresponding gain.”
- It Targets the Real Fear – It wasn’t about shadows; it was about aloneness.
- It Let’s God Speak – Revelation of love displaces temptation.
Takeaway for Parents
The next time your child is afraid:
- Get curious, asking questions until you get to the root fear.
- Invite God into that fear.
- Let Him give your child the picture, word, or assurance they need.